Of Work Related Rants and My Rash Decision.

So, I decided to quit the level test a few days ago.

It happened so fast. So fast that it seems like a rash decision.

I don’t exactly know if it was just me, my tiresome self or the feeling of being too tired to work. Perhaps, the better word is, burnt out.

Perhaps it’s because of what happened a couple of weeks back. I had too many students.

For me 51 students for 10 hours is too much. I enjoy talking to them. I had fun teaching them but it’s too tiresome. And I guess, I couldn’t handle 51 students or more for five days every week. Plus the fact that I sometimes had to work on weekends.

I can also say that I went back to my old habit because of the work load and the shitty schedule — where, they had to fill my break time (BT) with a student. Where I almost had 16 classes for 2 hours and 20 minutes, which is consists of non-stop classes by the way. It inconvenienced me very much that I became too lazy to go to work the next week.

I guess that pushed me to make this rash decision. I impulsively asked my Shift Manager about quitting the level test on a Tuesday. I asked if I still need to pass a letter or if I should just inform my superiors. She said I should talk to our General Manager about it. I was supposed to talk to the GM the next day, but I realized that I should also inform our Quality Assurance and Trainer. I don’t want to disrespect him or bypass him so I talked to him and told him that I want to quit. I told him my reasons (or excuses) and he said that he will tell the GM about it.

A few hours after that, I asked my SM if there are any updates in my Level Test resignation and she told me that they will not give me any level test students anymore. She also added that it became easier because I have been turning down the weekend shifts, — which I just turned down a couple of times, and the time where there was a big typhoon in Manila. I don’t mind though, it’s okay. But, I guess, I got what I want and it’s better than them giving me an ultimatum or whatnot.

However, I’m very pissed off that they altered my schedule last Thursday afternoon without informing me. I almost missed a class because of them. But half of it was my fault for not writing the names of the students on the MP2. But, still… it sucks and I hope it won’t happen again.

Friday was smooth sailing. I can feel that my decision to let go the level test was just right. They didn’t give me a lot of students and I was able to relax.

Don’t get me wrong. I love what I’m doing and I don’t have any plans of resigning or transferring to another company. But sometimes, it’s also the company’s fault why the employees are quitting.

If I will be asked, I wouldn’t recommend our company to my acquaintances. Not because I don’t want to help them, but because the work load is fucking stressful these days.

I quit the level test because I don’t think that I’m going to last long if I’m overworking. I don’t want to exhaust myself with work. I guess, 30-40 students are enough and to go beyond 50 is too much.

So far, my workload has been lessened. I guess, I can thank my indecisiveness and my impulsiveness for this. I should also thank my pessimistic self for always thinking of giving up. Sometimes being pessimistic is also a good thing because it unconsciously tells you that you need to stop.

There was a point where I asked myself, do I need this? Do I need the money for this? Yes. Who doesn’t need the money? But… is it a need? Or should I take a rest and be contented already? It’s a wake-up call. I need to be contented. I need to take a rest. I should not abuse my body. I shouldn’t pursue things if I’m not 100% up for it.

Perhaps, it’s because of who I am. I don’t want to do something halfheartedly. I’m passionate about working, about teaching my students, about caring about them and about making a living out of what I’m doing. I don’t want to quit and I also tried to explain my side in resigning and stuff but if I’m forced to or if I don’t feel happy about what I’m doing, then I might consider giving this job up.