Goals For 2016: A Semi-New Year’s Resolution

A year ago, I posted a blog about not having a New Year’s Resolution. I read it again and realized that I still believe in what K Brosas said on her Instagram post.

Change shouldn’t be a fad every January 1. It should be a start of your vow to yourself. If you want to change, it shouldn’t be because it’s a new year. It should be because you really want to change for the better.

A lot of my contemporaries are done writing their New Year’s Resolution. And since I’m the type who doesn’t want to join the hype, I am writing the things I want to change and achieve for this year.

It still hasn’t occurred to me that it’s already 2016. It’s also the same with how I feel about being engaged. I still couldn’t believe that in a year or so, I would be a Missus.

If I must admit, I can say that I am a very uptight person. And as much as I want to be spontaneous, there’s a huge part of me who also wants to plan things ahead. I always tend to get very frustrated and upset whenever things don’t happen the way I plan it to be.

I’d like to think that this post will serve as my reminder and my list of goals for this year.

As I’ve written in my previous blog post, I have been through ups and downs last year and I was really devastated when I didn’t get the team leader post. I still want to be a team leader in our company. So I will still try my best to get the job this year.

Another plan is to start scouting and reserving the church for my 2017 wedding. So that is one of our plans on January. If we’re done reserving the church, then we can cross out the other stuff included in the church package.

We are also planning to attend the Wedding Expo at the Mega Trade Hall on February 19, 20 and 21. However, the Komiket 2016 will be held at Centris Elements on February 20. So, since we really enjoyed our first Komiket, Ino and I will probably go there again.

Hey 2016 is a leap year! So, probably we can squeeze more plans on February.

Next would be the finalization of the entourage and guests. This will be the month where we will send our RSVPs and reserve the restaurant for the reception. Our target guests is 100 people. 50 for Ino and 50 for me. We are hoping to accomplish this on March.

If the guests and the entourage are already established, we are planning to have the gowns and Barongs scouted, counted and measured by April.

I think I have to stop planning these all by myself. My fiance is still playing computer games at the moment and reading wedding preparation blogs are not helping me at the moment. So many questions!!! It’s soooo overwhelming!

So, to continue the planning and the goal listings…

  • I want to stay fit starting this year. I’m trying to avoid softdrinks or soda but I can’t help myself and sip some when I’m really tempted. My target for this year is to reduce eating rice or to stop eating rice for good. My goal is to go to the gym regularly as well.
  • I’m hoping to lessen my loans. Or to avoid loaning this year. I really had a problem with my Globe Postpaid plan. I basically spent my 13th month on my postpaid plan last year. I also bought a phone worth 30k last year and so much more.

I hope that Ino and I won’t spend too much or loan money to the extent of paying it even after the wedding.

  • Probably be more productive this year.
  • Try to inquire in TESDA or get a TESOL or consider getting a MA not because of the fad but because I want to have a better future.

I really can’t think of any other resolutions and goals. I might figure it out as the months go by. For now, I’m happy that I have set some goals.

 

 

Leap of Faith

I’m going to reach my goal.

Finally, an opportunity for me has come. I am now considering to apply for the teamleader position of our company. I remember thinking about it and listing it in my goals for this year. Yeah, I’d like to be promoted, who doesn’t? Of course, there are questions and doubts, but before I get into that I’d like to tell you why I want this.

First, I don’t know how much I want this. I don’t know if I want this badly. Or how bad I want this. All I know is, I wanna be challenged. All I know is I’m still passionate with this job and I’m not getting any younger. If I am not going to be promoted anytime soon, when? I’m close to turning 30 and I haven’t attained any goals. I want to test my abilities and in this way, I can prove to myself that I can. If not then at least I know that I should do better. Perhaps, a wake up call. Perhaps, it should be something to consider or to improve on.

Heck, I don’t even know if I am ready. All I know is that I want this. For how long? I’m not sure. Perhaps, I’m infatuated by the idea that it can take me to a different path. Perhaps, it can take me away from thinking that I’m just a teacher, that I’m just a regular worker. Or it can deviate me from thinking of engagements and proposals and all that shit.

In all honesty, I’m looking for more opportunities to be busy. And I know how big the responsibilites of a team leader is. I know that it’s not a joke but somehow the idea of doing something new and doing something this serious and tedious is really a challenge dancing in my brain like a moth to a flame.

I want to grow and this company is offering me an opportunity that I can’t let pass. If I take it, I won’t lose anything and if I let it pass then I’m sure I’m gonna regret it. And if it happens that I won’t be chosen, then I guess it’s not yet the right time.

I believe that everything takes time. My mom taught me that an answer can be a yes, a no or a maybe. How will I know if I can do something if I won’t try? How will I know if it’s worth it if I won’t set my foot on it?

Second, I am looking at it as going out of my comfort zone. Leading a group is new to me. For years, I’ve grown accustomed to being a follower and just doing what the leader tells me to. I grew up following orders as it is. I am a whistleblower when I was in gradeschool. I don’t like breaking the laws or rules that’s why my classmates thought that I am a kissass.

There are downsides in being a follower too. You tend to be lost when you don’t follow any orders. You sometimes doubt if your decisions are worth it. If your decision is right. If it is enough. If it is the right thing to do.

I have been so accustomed to tradition that I can see myself as a traditional leader. I go by the rules. I am conscious about making mistakes. I tend to backout when I can feel the sting of my wrong decisions backlash-ing on me. Just like what happened to me when I was still training as a level test teacher. I am so sensitive to criticisms that I tend to slow down and back out when my faults are pointed directly to me. I tend to be defensive when people blame me for my shortcomings.

In some points I can be a dictator. I am the leader in my relationship. I want things done right away. I hate it when plans don’t materialize. I tend to be called the boss. I don’t take no for an answer. I’m hard headed and persistent. I’m not sure if my weaknesses can be considered as strengths or if these strengths could be my weaknesses, but hopefully it can be both. ….

I see myself as a person who has a strong personality. I tend to clash with people who have strong personalities too. I hate confrontations. Whenever I realize my faults or my mistakes, I tend to be apologetic. Though, it may not happen all the time. I consider other people’s opinion, however, I strongly hold my beliefs and my opinions. I may be hard to persuade. Compromise is a word I tend to take for granted, well, as for when my relationship is concerned.

I don’t want to limit my abilities. As I’ve said. I am not sure if I can do the tasks of a team leader but I will never know unless I try.

Third, if I should face my fear then… I’d dare to face my fear of rejection. If I will fail then so be it, I will face the fear of failure. Then, I’d get to tell myself that at least I’ve tried.

Though, I am not sure if I know what I’m getting into, I know that it would be a rollercoaster ride.  I guess, I just have to fasten my seatbelt.

 

 

Things I want to start in April.

  •  exercise / gym / limit chips and soft drinks
  • office mp2 of students
  • budgeting! PLDT. Meralco, Smart and Globe ….
  • food expenses and groceries
  • hopefully no other debts from the office
  • attendance! Sleep early and wake up early
  • Reading more, blogging more, 🙂
  • u107 remodeling
  • finish a Wattpad story
  • watch UDD in Saguijo
  • watch Cheats in Saguijo

 

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