2:11

First of all, I’d like to welcome my 2 AM thoughts back!

Now, off to my thoughts…

Having the chance to talk to the childhood friend I mentioned in my previous blog and the unsatisfactory short replies I get from him… I don’t think he actually understood what I meant by starting over.

So… let me write my thoughts in my vernacular for now.


 

January 7, 2018

 
 
 

Dear …,

Just to let you know, inabot na ko ng ilang minuto sa kaiisip ng itatawag ko sa’yo. Hindi ako makapag-decide kasi a) alas dos y medya na ng madaling araw at b) hindi ko makita si Nolan ng Revenge sa’yo. Halos malapit lang ‘yun sa pangalan mo pero it doesn’t fit your personality. So let me just call you ellipsis for now.

Anyway, 2018 na! And by 2018, ineexpect kong mas straight forward na ang ganap. Siguro medyo awkward nga talagang mag-usap kasi, helloooo ano ba ang 16 years ‘di ba? By this time siguradong madami ka ng pag-subok na na-overcome, at mas matino’t maayos ka na ngayon. Kahit wala sa itsura. Hehehehe! Buti na lang hindi mo mababasa ‘to.

So, medyo nag-e-expect ako na mas mature at mas maayos ka na kausap. Kasi sa pagkakatanda ko, nasa 30 mahigit ka na. So siguro naman masikip-sikip na ang turnilyo ng utak mo ngayon. Pwede ring mas lumuwag pa. 

Halos palaisipan pa rin sa akin kung bakit mo ko inadd sa dalawa kong Facebook accounts. Take note, not one but two! So… bakit? Iyon ba ay dahil gusto mo lang maki-usyoso o meron kang gustong sabihin o malaman o ano pa man? Medyo hindi ko lang kasi maintindihan kung bakit all of a sudden, naisipan mong mag-paramdam. At dahil nga hindi ako matahimik, ako na yung gumawa ng paraan para kausapin ka.

Pero dahil nga medyo kilala naman kita at alam kong likas ang pagiging weirdo sa’yo, naisip ko din na baka na-tripan mo lang ‘yun isang araw at sa di malamang dahilan, e naisipan mong mag-add ng madaming friends. Whatever that is.

Naaalala ko pa nung unang gabi na nag-usap tayo sa messenger na sinabi ko sa’yo na kung gusto mong mag-start over as friends, G. Kung ayaw mo naman, e di Facebook friends na lang tayo. Tapos sabi mo okay lang. Ngayon naman na triny ko ulit na kausapin ka, as usual wala nanamang sense yung sagot mo. So, dahil mag-g-give up na ko sa pakikipag-usap sa’yo, dito ko na lang ilalabas lahat ng sasabihin ko. 

Una sa lahat, thank you for letting me know na JPI7 got married in Tagaytay. In denial pa din kasi ako na kasal na siya, and halos lahat ng taong nakilala ko nuon ay masaya na sa kani-kanilang relasyon. Don’t get me wrong, okay? Masaya din naman ako sa relasyon ko. It’s just that, siyempre… first ex, at merong mga panaka-nakang what-ifs minsan. So, since you’ve already set the record straight, thank you.

Pangalawa, nakakatuwang isipin na a few years ago, I wished for a male bestfriend. And unfortunately, walang naging successful. I tried to talk to other people and be friend them para lang mag-karoon ako ng ibang kausap outside my relationship. Pero, wala. Kaya sorry kung medyo naisip kong ito yung sagot ni God sa akin na right time to have a male bestfriend.

Bestfriend. Bestfriend naman kita nuon, e. For a short period of time bago naging haywire ang utak at puso ko. Hindi ko na mababago ang nakaraan at hindi ko rin naman pwedeng sisihin ang sarili ko sa mga bagay na hindi ko na ma-k-control. So, pasensiya na sa mga nangyari dati.

Kung mag-kaka-chance ako na maging bestfriend ka ulit if whatever this is becomes normal, at makakausap ka na ulit na parang totoong tao. Then, siguro, pwede naman tayong maging mas maayos na mag-kaibigan. … I know that it sounds desperate. Well, hindi naman ako desperado. Kung ippresenta lang ng pag-kakataon yung ganung opportunity, i-ta-take ko yun. Siguro naman, pwedeng hindi na maimpluwensiyahan nung mga nangyari dati yung chance na maging maayos tayong mag-kaibigan, kung sakali.

I’m not sure if I want it or I need it or I just want things to be normal. I just need a friend sometimes. Adulting is harsh and difficult so, maganda din yung may nakaka-usap ka na iba yung perspective. Iiwan ko na sa 2017 yung idea na nakakausap mo pa minsan si JPI7 at baka may chance pang makibalita sa kanya. Iiwan ko na yun, kasi ikaw nga na hindi matinong kausap, hindi mahagilap. ‘Yun pa kaya? Di ba? Kaya wag na.

So, ‘yun… wala naman ata talaga akong gustong sabihin. Na-caught off guard lang siguro talaga ako na nag-decide kang mag-follow ng madaming tao randomly para dumami ang friends mo sa Facebook. Kasi, siguro kung meron kang intensyon at meron kang sasabihin, ginawa mo na di ba? Hindi yung katulad nung pag-uusap nating naiiwan ako sa ere kasi na-s-seenzoned lang. 

Well, gagawa na lang ako ulit ng letter dito sa blog kung may maisip man ako. For now, good luck sa mass-add-friend trip mo.

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23:45

Social media has been a tricky space for me. I don’t really post things religiously like the others. I also don’t follow trends that much.

I dunno. Probably, it’s just me. Sometimes, I feel like there are important things that I should keep to myself and just savor in private. Posting everything online is quite dangerous and time consuming. It’s also something that I didn’t get used to.

Well, there was this Friendster era. When most of my friends are people I know or met online. People are closer at that time, I think. I also like Friendster’s blog feature. I can write my heart out and read other people’s blogs. By other people, I meant my exs. :))

Anyway, Facebook is quite different. The thought is there but it’s TMI. People can have the tendency to overshare their life or their opinions. I was guilty of that. For a time, I wrote about my family problems and other rants on my page. It was humiliating and embarrassing but that taught me something. Now, I know better.

Because of several reasons, I can say that I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook.

I tried to be active and inactive on Facebook several times last year. However, the toxic environment made me quit for a long time.

I had several Facebook accounts but most of them are deactivated. Several? Yeah… Remember when Facebook still has Farmville and Restaurant City? I made several accounts because of that. I like making new accounts for games; just like how I love making new blogs from time to time.

Well… I opened one of my old accounts this afternoon. Not because I want to play any games. I opened this account to stay away from the toxic friends I added on my most used Facebook account.

I was supposed to update my info and back up some photos that I wasn’t able to post on my blog, when I saw a friend request from a childhood friend. It has been a long time. 16 years to be exact. He added me and I tried to send him a message. He replied and he was doing well. We chatted for a while.

My mind is still reeling from the thought that my high school ex-fling, Jasper Lee, has come out of the closet already. Then, asking this childhood friend of mine about Jpi7’s wedding felt like I just added salt to my wounds. He had his wedding in Tagaytay. 😥

But…. wait, I’m married too. Haha! I almost forgot. Gahd, these songs on my playlist are making me feel sentimental.

This wasn’t a dream. However, I badly wish that those were just nightmares. Kidding.

I had two active accounts but I just deactivated the other today. I found out that this childhood friend also added me on the other active account. For what reason? Hmmm.. I dunno. I have yet to ask him because he said he needs to sleep at 10. Perhaps, I can ask him next time.

I think he just want to reconnect or to eavesdrop on my life.

I gave him an option before I told him to rest. I told him that we can catch up or start over or just stay friends online. He replied and told me that it’s okay to be friends again.

I really don’t know what to expect. Perhaps, he has become wiser and more matured after 16 years. He sounds like one on his replies but I dunno. The memories I had with him was the guy I met through my ex-boyfriend. The memories I had with him was the high school guy who was funny, goofy, cool but also weird. He still gives me the weird vibe but it’s too early to judge.

Well, hello 2018! Nice work for the first 4 days of the year!

12:45 What My 2017 Was Like

Listening to: Burn by Tina Arena

I’ve been setting goals for the past two years and I can say that it’s quite interesting to keep track of the things I’ve accomplished and met. Looking back at my previous posts for the past year, I noticed that the only things I have accomplished were finding a job and waking up early. Haha! Most of my resolutions / goals weren’t met. I blame myself for not exerting more effort in setting my eyes on my goals.

Brace yourself for the explanation of the year…

  • As I’ve written countless times last year, I was very busy with other things that blogging has felt like such a chore. So, now… I’m trying to empty my mind on this blank page to keep me sane.
  • I also feel guilty for not frequently updating my stories last year.
  • I’m struggling. I still want to lose weight and save some money. I also want to commute more often to save money in 2018!! If only I can take away the convenience of taking a Grab/Uber to and from work.
  • I have taken some good photos last year using my compact camera. Some of it are from my favorite bands’ gigs and I never got the chance to post it because I was lazy.
  • Reading books? Hmmmm… I think I have to write down the books that I will have finished reading this year. I lost track of my reading because I was too engrossed on my new phone and other things. I can’t even imagine how Saab Magalona can manage reading a lot of books in spite of her schedule. Eto nanaman ako sa fangirling. Haha! But note to self, please do read a lot. You need it for your job and your own being!
  • I’ve also failed my husband countless times for not being a good wife. He doesn’t deserve a slacker like me. I admit that I haven’t done much housechores because I refuse to. I also haven’t learn much dishes because of lack of trying. Sorry!

So, I guess, I have failed most of my goals last year. This year must be better. I must be able to keep track on better things to do this year. To be more productive and more efficient.



Now that I have written about what I was able to do and what I failed to do last year, let me count the blessings that I had in 2017. I also wanna write about how my 2017 has turned out. I wanna write about what was it like and what I’m looking forward to next year.

On the first few months of the year, I was also able to go to the gym but because of my new schedule and my new office location, I stopped going to the gym. Working in Makati actually shifted my plans about going to the gym. I don’t actually remember why I didn’t push through going to the gym on weekends. Maybe it was because of the wedding planning? Or maybe it was because of the hectic schedule that I had.

I’m hoping to lose weight by watching what I eat and by being more active this year. I am thinking of running or jogging on weekends for starters. Let me update you once I get on it. 🙂

Speaking of jobs, I’m thankful that I was able to find one last March. I’m now a regular employee in my company and I’m looking forward to more years in working there with my colleagues.

Also, one of the things I didn’t actually expect last year was meeting good friends at work. I think it was because I never had a good set of friends in my previous work experiences. So, having a good bunch of friends was refreshing to me. They aren’t perfect but they are people that I think I can depend on.

I’m also thankful that I don’t have pending debts for the upcoming year. Well, I still need to manage my salary wisely and avoid unnecessary debts. I have to be more responsible financially.

In line with a debt-free beginning, I’m also thankful that I have new things that I’m healthy and I can buy the things that I need and I want. I must find more reasons to enjoy working to enjoy living. I also must have better decisions this year so that I won’t get into trouble this year.

Above all else, I’m also thankful that I’m still married even if it wasn’t the smoothest ride. 2017 was a fucking mess. I need to be better and improve myself. I need to understand my husband more. I wish I can do better.

Aside from being grateful for the past year, I continuously pray for my parents to be healthy. I pray that my lovedones will be safe and have the best of their health. I also pray that it would be a better year for all of us.

If I can have a final wish for this year, it would be to get pregnant.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 🙂

2:21

Let me re-establish my blogging style.

I’ve been reading my old posts and I’m trying to come up with a blog that has a soul. My official blog feels too formal for me. It feels like, I’m writing for the sake of writing. Not only in writing about important life events but also in documenting where I’ve been and how I spent most of my day on that certain adventure.

I even went overboard with posting photos about the events that I’ve been to, to the extent that editing a bulk of photos felt like a chore. I was also unsatisfied with how the blog entries turned out because even though I know that I’ve just started and I still got a lot to learn, I always end up comparing my blog contents with celebrity blogs. Writing that really sounds superficial and tacky, but… that’s how I sum up my blogging experience this year.

I still haven’t tried writing anything using my vernacular, since I created this new blog. Whenever I’m in the mood to write, I always end up writing my thoughts in English. Probably it’s because I’ve been training myself to write and think in English as part of practice.

I am also conscious about my thought organization skills. I still haven’t improved on that area yet. My thoughts are mostly scattered and random. Sorting it out takes some time and I sometimes get sidetracked with some topics.

I’ve written blogging and updating my stories as part of my goal. With this new laptop, I’m hoping that I could actually write sensibly and more often as well. I just really want this to be more therapeutic as my everyday life is getting more hectic. Y’know, adult stuff.

‘Though attending events would probably still be part of my life, I think I’d take it easy on capturing things. I will also enjoy the moment and live. For, I can write better when I have more experiences to share than to take photos of.

To more writings, sharing, and living!

23:33

I have yet to back up my files on my old laptop and update my new one. My hard drive is waiting for me. However, December is really a busy month and it’s not just because of the holidays. There’s really a lot going on.

I’ve been thinking. It’s not the laptop that’s stopping me from saying what I want to say. It’s not my internet connection, either. It’s how conscious I am about what I want to publish. It’s how I wanted to write things.

I’ve been experimenting on my content. I did say I want to write in my vernacular but I haven’t really published anything organic. I’ve been back reading my old posts from different blogs but all it did was bring back memories. My writing style has changed and I couldn’t seem to bring myself to write in the same manner again.

I’ve been meaning to write something as a diary. I am trying. However, it just doesn’t really feel right. Maybe it’s really because I’m conscious. I’m overthinking things. This part of growing up sucks. I tend to think about my life decisions and how I regret some of it.

Perhaps, I wanted to bring back the ranting on this blog. At the back of my head, I was really searching for a place to air my thoughts and grievances and just be myself.

I haven’t been myself in a long time. For me, things have been different because co-existing is such a task. I always have to adjust and adapt to my husband’s way of life. We fight from time to time and each and every time, I’d tell him that I’ll stop doing this or that. Sometimes, these changes feel like I’m losing myself and I’m becoming a different person. Like parts of me have been broken down to someone’s liking and getting validation is something I need to feel satisfied or sane.

It’s crazy! Looking back, I find my posts or myself as a carefree, positive and ambitious person. Currently, I’m far from that. I don’t think I’m the same person. Probably because I’ve experienced enough and I gained more knowledge from those experiences. That, or, reality has hit me like something I can’t even describe.

 

#Personal: Talking About My Family

Happy July 2nd!

I’m back on writing again after a long hiatus. It’s time to update this blog more often than I should and I mean it. I should really do something about my writing skills. Today, I will talk about something personal. It’s about stuff that happened a few months ago.

 

It all started two weeks before I got married. I invited one of my aunts on my father’s side to be one of my primary sponsors. I was dead set on choosing her because I would’ve never had the opportunity to work in Globe if it wasn’t for her.

We were supposed to meet on a Saturday, but she told us that we should meet on Sunday instead. It was Mother’s day when we visited them at Antipolo. I know that I will meet most of my aunts and uncles but I didn’t expect all of them to make it because from personal experiences,  not everybody can make it due to other reasons. However. they proved me wrong when everybody was there, even my dad.

I was ecstatic, surprised and excited to see him. It has been a long time since I’ve heard of him and I remember sending him some e-mails about how I feel and about how I wanted to get to know him more. We didn’t become close right away but there was a certain familiarity and assurance when we interacted. I didn’t know if I should feel shy or make the most of it. Deep inside, I know that it won’t last that long. It will take months or years again to see him and be with him, and before I know it… it’s time to go home.

I didn’t want to regret that moment. I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to get to know him better and be with him. I would like to have have an idea about who he is and what it is like to be with him and probably, save some memories of us together while I still can.

It was nice hanging out with him and having a heart-to-heart conversation with him. I’m quite glad that I’m already an adult when we reached this point, because I have forgiven him already and what matters to me most is that I still got the chance to learn more about him and have my own memories about him.

For years, I’ve only known him based on what my mother told me. Her perspective somehow honed the person I regarded as my biological father. Not knowing the facts and his real personality or characteristics, I was left with the idea of him. And like the others, I was hungry for more information. I wanted to know this person and validate the persona behind her perspective. It was as if, my mother was a writer or a storyteller, and she was narrating one of her antihero in her story. But, he’s real. And I wanted to know more and be a part of that story. I no longer want to be a listener or an audience. I want to be a part of that story too.

 

And so when I met him, I asked him to attend my wedding. I asked him because he missed so much. He missed most of my life and most of how I became to be. I asked him to make up for the lost time and own it. I needed him to be there. I gathered all my courage to ask him that because I may not have the opportunity to do it again. If he will, he would be doing that for me and not for the others. It would just mean that he wants to be a part of my life even just for a day or for just a few hours. It matters to me. It means everything to me. And I’m glad he did.

My relatives on his side, never failed to surprise me. Amidst, not being part of the entourage, they willingly committed to attend my wedding. Regardless if they are part of the entourage or not. Unconditionally, they supported me without the need to beg them to attend. It was more than enough. I couldn’t have asked for more. My only regret was, if I had only known, I would have chosen most of them to be a part of my wedding. However, it’s all done now and all I can do is to make sure that they become a part of my life now.

 

I was wrong to think that the people I grew up with and treasured, were the only ones I need to be with on my special day. It was late when I realized, I needed all of them to be there. It was already late when I realized that I need all of them and I am grateful to them because they spent that day with me and supported me on my new journey. It was late when I realized that I spent half of my life regretting the things I should’ve done. That I should’ve reached out to them a long time ago, that I should have told them how much I appreciated them and how grateful I am to be a part of their lives.

I was naive to believe that things won’t change. I was naive to believe that events such as the ones I grew up with are family traditions that will happen yearly. I was so convinced that those family traditions won’t get old. But… my aunts and uncles on my mother’s side are getting older. They aren’t the same people they used to be. Some of them have already passed away. Some of them are too old to have long drives. Most of my cousins have their own families. Most of my cousins are “too busy,” like me. That hanging-out was such a task and nobody’s got the time for that anymore. Even special holidays are better spent amongst their own families and that’s just too sad. So unfortunate for the younger ones, nieces, nephews, cousins, grandchildren and in-laws, to miss out on all the fun we used to have.

That’s just one of the realities in this millennial era.

 

Moving along…

 

I didn’t think much about choosing my other relatives on my father’s side at that time because I didn’t grow up with them. I thought they don’t want to be a part of my wedding because we barely had the chance to be together. However, they proved me wrong. They were in fact, more excited than my relatives on my mother’s side.

Ino and I had decided to choose most of the entourage on my mother’s side because I’ve known them all my life and regardless of our family/clan drama, I consider all of them as my important guests on my wedding. Sadly, not all of them made it to our wedding. Some had to be replaced by other relatives (“proxy”) because it’s a working weekday and they cannot be absent from work or school, — regardless if I have informed them a year in advance or a few months in advance.

I was very stressed out at that time. I’ve exhausted everyone on my list. It’s a good thing that my relatives on my father’s side are more than willing to be a part of my wedding. They were my lifesavers. They made my wedding much more meaningful because they really attended the wedding and became a part of my special day.

I was able to have a family moment even if there’s a little awkwardness to it. Still, my not-so-perfect wedding still pushed through and it still went well.

 

Fast forward to a few weeks or a month after that where Ino and I were invited to my cousin’s debut. I was requested to sing on her birthday and I gladly obliged.

My mother already had a hunch that we will meet my other siblings.

It’s a well-known family history. I am one of the poster child for UNICEF. My mother and father separated when I was a baby. I was adopted by my mother’s sister and her husband. They adopted me and raised me. They also took care of my mom and we lived there for as long as I can remember. They also adopted my cousin a few years before they adopted me.

My sister from my mother was born after five years. When I was around 10 years old or older, I’ve learned that my father also had 2 other children from another woman. A few years ago, I heard he had another child from another woman. Then, when I invited him on my wedding he told me he has another son.

Boy, that was a crazy narration of my family tree. I don’t regret any of it though. It was their personal choices and decisions, one that I don’t have any control of. It happened as I was growing up and it’s part of who I have become.

 

Perhaps, you are wondering why I am bringing this up.

Last night was my cousin’s debut and for the first time, I met my brothers. Growing up, I know that my other siblings exist, but it was just an idea for me. I’ve never thought that I would really meet them. I thought that it wouldn’t happen. I never imagined that I would. Not until I did.

I grew up with my sister in the same house. I grew up having issues with her because I couldn’t accept the fact that my mother fell in love with someone else. I fought with her when we were young because I hated the fact that she exists, and she has to live with me everyday. It was just later when she had her own child, that I realized it was not her fault that she existed. It was not her fault that she had to grew up with me. It was not her fault to be a part of my family. She happens to exist because my parents made decisions that I don’t have any control of.

I grew up with her and experienced what it was like to have a sibling. There are times when I would toy about the idea of my other siblings living with me. The idea of having a complete family was surreal. It was unimaginable and unrealistic. It was crazy. For I know that these siblings that I have are not only theirs. And my greatest fear was to have a broken family again and meet the same fate, — to have different children from different partners or to be left by my husband for other mistresses.

 

Then, I had to go back to reality and attend my cousin’s debut along with my husband and my mom. I met the youngest of my father’s child and he was cute and very smart. I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t know how to address him or how to interact with him. It was more than the feeling of being stunned. It was more than a feeling of “I know what this is. I already have a sister from my own mother, I’m used to this.” It was never that simple.

I know they exists. I know they are real but seeing them and being able to be with them was a different story. They are after all, my father’s offsprings. I’m dying to know them. I wanted to talk to them and tell them, “Hey! I’m your big sister. I want to know you more. I want to be a part of your life.” But I can’t. I was too weak to do that. I was just happy to see my father and be able to call him papa at that time

Last night, I realized that I was stopping myself from that realization. I do not want the reality to sink in and I was stopping myself from understanding that these boys are my brothers. I already have a sister. We don’t get along most of the time. We don’t understand each other because I hated her when I was young. I didn’t give her a chance because I was angry. We didn’t have a good relationship. And it freaked me out, when I realized that I’m glad I never had the chance to live with my other siblings.

 

Perhaps, it’s the right time to meet them. I’m already 28 and one of my younger brothers is already on his 20s. I could understand the awkwardness and tension. I understand that we are uncomfortable to talk and face reality. I wouldn’t really know what to say.

My initial reaction was, “I thought we’re gonna attend a debut, not a family reunion.” Because I didn’t really think that I’m gonna meet them anytime soon. I was curious about how they look. I was curious if they look like me or my dad. They say I look like my dad and I can see how I resemble my aunts. And seeing them, made me think that yeah… they are my father’s sons.

I’m just saying that it was unplanned and I was caught off guard. I’m glad to meet them and I wish we can have a chance to talk again next time. I would like to meet them and get to know them just like my father.

It was shocking and surprising but it was what made that night memorable for me.

 

I also realized something while I was writing this.

I was wrong to blame my sister for being born and for being raised in the same house. I regret hurting her physically, emotionally, and psychologically. I regret blaming her for whatever it is that happened to me. I am sorry for hurting her and for making her feel unwelcome.

I also realized that no matter how wrong my parents’ decisions are, I didn’t have to take it to the others and be angry with them or hate them. I realized that they didn’t want any of it and they exists because they are the results of a choice. They are good or bad decisions that constitutes not only my parents lives but also my life.

If for anything, I would like to be with them and spend time with them. I hope this is not the last and I hope that there will be more chances in the future.

 

P.S

I do not hate my parents anymore. I do not want to blame them anymore for their decisions. I just realized that blaming them wouldn’t change anything. They made decisions for a reason. They may have been happy in the process that’s why they stick up for it and I respect that. In time, perhaps I’ll heal and understand why they did what they did. Hopefully, I won’t need to be separated from my husband to find my own happiness.

Decoding Ariana Grande

Lemme dump my thoughts here, please.

First of…

The theme of that night’s party is Pride. We were just supposed to go to Terno Inferno when we decided otherwise. The reason behind it? It started earlier and our day was just starting. At the same time, I took that as an opportunity to go to TodayXFuture. I was one sneaky bitch. I know. I’ve been reading Jasper Lee’s posts and getting several notifications on FB about that place so that got me really curious. I was itching to know what’s in there and why is it so fun. So to cure the itch, we went there and found out.

More reasons / excuses here:

  1. For the universal excuse, I am doing it for Two Storey! However, I just realized that it should be for Twisted! XD #thehorrors
  2. To see him. To find out if he’ll talk to me or acknowledge my presence. I eventually fucked up and I’m not sure if he was the one I requested a song to. I was slightly tipsy and indifferent about my actions then. I was just hiding behind the excuse of being tipsy but honestly, I still know what I’m doing and it’s a bait. But nothing happened, and it’s probably because he doesn’t care or maybe because he knows I’m with my husband.
  3. To find out if he’ll crossdress and to find out if he turned out to be gay. And I was dumbfounded when I discovered he’s a DJ. :O

 

I took off my glasses that night because there’s no sense in wearing one. It was dark, I was tipsy and nothing matters. My first experiment failed but it was worth it. Every bottle of Smirnoff Mule is worth it. All those 5 bottles wreck me but it just added up to the fun.

I’m not even sure if he was the DJ whom I talked to or if he was the one who played the Ariana Grande playlist but it was just one of those moments where I want the ground to devour me. That won’t stop me from going there again, though.

TodayXFuture is like Saguijo. It has a homey feel. The rustic feel adds more flavor to the uniqueness of the place. It was quite small but in an intimate way. It’s a place where people can enjoy good music. Not just because Jasper Lee might be a DJ on that place, but because they have good food choices and music to pair it with. In fact, my husband says their Tofu Sticks are to die for. I hope to find another excuse to go there again.

 

 

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I was quite worried if I was under-dressed. I was worried that we wouldn’t like the place. However, none of it matters because the place was a nice hangout place. There was no door charge too. Perhaps, the down side is that there aren’t enough tables and chairs. That won’t be a problem if you love dancing. It won’t be a problem if you are willing to join the crowd on the dance floor and enjoy the music.

We decided to try both and because of my tipsy / drunk behavior, my husband decided that we head home early. I honestly felt like a “tita / ahjumma / oba-san.” Going home early made me miss half of the fun. We should have partied ’til dawn but perhaps my alcohol tolerance had really failed me and it was really best to go home.

Drinking 5 bottles of vodka is a no-no. So next time, I should drink moderately. I should party harder and responsibly. I should #walwalnomore.

 

Friday Currently

Sneaking a WordPress Blog Post while at work. 🙂

Life has been stressful lately. I’ve been pre-occupied with many things — some I have mentioned on my previous blogs and others, I think I wouldn’t write about anymore.

I’ve been asking myself when I’m going to write again. Whenever I try to log-on to my blog, I often find myself procrastinating and coming up with different excuses not to. So, now that I have a 30-minute free time in the office, I will take this opportunity to update this blog.

CURRENTLY 

Reading updates on our Slack and Asana. I’m on stand-by for any new tasks that will be assigned to me today.

Writing this blog entry. I’m glad that I don’t need to worry about my news task because I already finished it yesterday. Yay!

Listening to how my colleague is conducting her class. I can also hear the sound of my mini-fan and some typing keyboard sounds. :))

Thinking about my allowance until payday. Critical wallet days is real.

Smelling nothing. I usually smell coffee at this time but I decided to cut my instant coffee habit because I gained weight. I’m starting a water only diet today.

Wishing for another long holiday where I can do things freely. Like read a book, play computer and mobile games, go to the beach or discover new places or restaurants, write a blog entry or a story update, sleep more, go to a gig, etc. Something that won’t require work and chores.

Hoping to finish my tasks that are due soon. I don’t want any backlogs. I don’t want to be the cause of delay in the office. I’m hoping for a stress-free day today. 

Wearing a simple dress and a pair of flats for today’s work.

Loving my free time. I got to write something today. Yay!

Wanting more alone time. I need space and pamper time but payday is so far away. 😦

Needing more time to write and enjoy life. Stress is destructing me little by little.

Feeling tired of people’s BS and BV. I just want to accomplish many things today at work and be free when I leave for the weekend.

Join The Sunday Currently link-up by siddathornton!

I want to write something but whenever I try to do it, my ideas escape my mind.

I have tons of inspirations. Reading other people’s entries make me feel like I wanted to write a similar content. However, I dunno how to start.

Time is of the essence and I can’t afford to write. Things were hectic today. I haven’t finished my news at work and other work-related things will pile up soon. Then thinking about blogging sucks my energy until I shelf writing again.

Sleep. I need sleep.

After XX-years…

Helloooooo WordPress!!

After a long hiatus, here I am again to dump photos and more blog contents. There were many reasons why I was gone.

  1. New blog – http://www.cheskinita.com
  2. New job – I already have a 10-7 job that requires me to sleep early and wake up early… but i am restless.
  3. I just got my tablet back!! So I can post online and check my site on the app or on my tablet just like old times. I miss this. It just dawned on me that I miss free writing. Hopefully, I’d get to blog more often and update my Wattpad stories soon!!
  4. I just got married last May 23.
  5. I forgot my username, e-mail and password. It took me several attempts and e-mail hunting to get this account back but I’m glad I’m here again.
  6. Whenever I open my laptop, the idea of resizing photos that I’m gonna dump on my website frustrates me. I usually feel lazy. Add to the fact that mañana habit takes the ideas away.

I’m hoping to be active once again. I need an outlet, so I’m  gonna go ahead and try my hardest. For now I gotta hit the sack.